The glamorous actor/tv presenter/model Kelly Brook has recently been embarrassed after it was revealed that a Chinese firm of condom manufacturers have been using her image to promote their brand of condoms, without her permission. The sexy photo, featuring Brook in a shiny gold bikini, has been printed onto the boxes of 12 and sold in a variety of Chinese supermarkets. Chinese Eyesome (their name is wildly appropriate considering the photos), the manufacturers, have also used photos of the American Beauty actress Mena Suvari.
The illicit use of the celebrity photos follows on from the scandal caused when another Chinese firm selling erectile dysfunction medication ran television adverts using those figureheads of virility, David Beckham, Sean Connery and Keanu Reeves. The Beckham ads show dodgy footage of the football star running across a pitch, before the even dodgier voice-over informs us that the tablets are “the secret weapon with which I can satisfy Victoria” and help him “keep strong and running on the football field.” An even better recommendation comes from the Matrix actor (ish), who lets us know, “After using USA Selikon to wash out my kidneys I had a very happy surprise. Of course, the happy surprise also belongs to my girlfriends!”
We have a few questions. Firstly, what exactly does it mean to wash out your kidneys? It sounds not only unappealing but very unerotic. Then, how would showing a Western celeb on a Chinese packet of condoms put a couple in the mood for sex? Getting naked is hard enough without being confronted at the salient moment by a stunning, unobtainable girl who looks nothing like you/your partner. Clearly marketing in the Chinese sexual health industry is all about celebrity ‘endorsement’ and absolutely nothing to do with legality or morals. Still, we just want to see whose photo gets used next...